silent guardian

Hi there! I'm here on behalf of #Traditional-Artists, giving to you all the feedback this piece gained at our last Critique Night!

I hope it is helpful and you can use it for your future work!



By ~RandomSearcher:
“I'm afraid I don't quite get the idea in this painting. I see a turtle head in the rock, and I think it's done nicely, with great feel of volume in it. But I really can't see what is going on in the background and what the tiny dark turtle is doing there... I suppose there must be some story behind it, but I don't see proper action to tell me what it is about. And the small image size adds to my confusion. “

By ~Elveanna:
“I like the earthly colours and the amount of detail you have in the flying turtle and the stone in the foreground. The problem here is I think that while the turtle is the main character (as I understood it?) it is neither really recognizable nor very present. At first I thought it was some kind of parrot or the like Maybe yo should explain the story in the artist's comments and also try to get a more distinct turtle look. I love though how you worked on that stone creature, this mixture of turtle and stone looks really good, and you got especially on the head a nice texture and shading. It dominates the picture, I don't know if that is intended, but if you ask me, the whole composition looks a bit crammed. I feel that the two small turtles need more space, with the stone one more looming on one corner instead of filling half of the picture. Concerning the style: While I like the realistic style and that the background is only suggested, I think for kids it might be better to go with a more cartoony style. Not completely, just with clean outlines and distinction between objects, or it can get a bit confusing. Apart from that, I'd really like to hear that story - a flying turtle explaining the world sounds like a fun concept!”

By =ziinyu:
“You have some really nice earth tones in this one, and your primary subject has a great deal of character just in the stylizations, that geometric feel adds a bit of stoicism while the muddied colors keep it natural. I think this style would do very well in a children's book.
The one thing I do worry about though is the narrative of the illustration. Right now this requires supporting text to be understood. It should at some extent be able to stand on it's own, this way it can validate the story and add nuances that weren't possible with text. Let your composition assist the storytelling elements of the piece.
A tool definitely at your disposal is depth, and while it physically exist in this piece, the environment appears a bit flat. Mostly this is due to the value range used. I think Rembrandt is the one cited for this most frequently, but try assigning a different value range for each level of depth. This allows you to keep each element distinct while also developing a whole new set of figure/ground relationships.
It's an interesting piece, but we need more of the narrative in it. What just happened? - what is going to happen? We need to feel that anticipation.”

By *pbird12:
“I think your painting definitely has something, it makes you want to look at it more to see what's going on. It would definitely benefit from more detail to all areas and perhaps try to achieve more depth to the piece, it is already there, but would benefit from some addition. For 8-10 years olds, as much as they will look into a picture more than perhaps a 4-5 year old, they still want what they seem to appear obvious. I'm not sure that your getting that here just yet. However the base is there and with some more work i think you'd have a lovely piece. I agree that a little narrative is needed to fully understand a piece, but an image should tell a story on its own and I'm not feeling that at the moment. I have to say I'm intrigued about the story ... you have my attention and I think that the block to build on ”